This time around, it feels different. After being blown off and canceled on so many times, I feel more apathetic than sorry this time. Instead of me being the friend that she drank away her sorrows with, I didn’t work at the time requested, and now she’s hungover and physically hurt, unable to make the hangout commitment that she pleaded for just last night.
Part of me is honestly bitter, pissed that I’ve put myself in the place again where I’m the disposable one. But a different perspective has emerged over the years and through the consistent pounding by careless relationships: it’s her loss. Sometimes it feels like I’m stuck to a revolving wheel of similar results, unable to change course or cause.
This is what I get for being flexible and understanding and patient. Sometimes, people don’t choose you. It hurts, and it doesn’t make sense to you, but if you’re asking questions like “why me?” then you need to address the root of the problem. Don’t dismiss the hurt, don’t invalidate the frustration.
Confront it. Scream at it. Voice your angst at being the back up plan.
And then walk away.