I can’t deny the desire to become something different than I am, a disquiet discontent with the person that I am. I think it is a consequence of my life, this lonely, misdirected path doesn’t seem like the road I should be on. It is incongruent with that of my elders. Many times in my history have I contemplated changing. This time seems different though. I’ve burned through social circles and exited on the other side without company. I’ve pushed the boulder to the top of the mountain, only to see it fall again. I’ve dedicated myself to an artistic path, and still don’t have artistic respect or a following or a market. I have a recognizable brand, but one that is relatively worthless, especially in an economy that cannot afford to support art.
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