The “Xenomorphous Laws” are scattered thoughts about this blog in relation to my second book “Xenomorphine” (The Bonesetter’s Revenge, Book2). I’ll adapt these laws and change them over time. I’m not exactly sure where this is going yet, and like any good xenomorph, this will change faces and stances and places throughout this journey. “Xenomorphine” is the title of my second book, and while I have much content already written for the book, I still have a lot to craft to provide cement to the story. I hope these are as wise as they are entertaining.
Xenomorphous Laws (1-21)
1. This will change you, and you will learn to love it.
2. Few journeys end the same place they start.
3. Everyone dies young–the good, the bad and the ugly.
4. Listen to your heart, before it buys an aluminum bat and beats you into submission.
5. If you spend your life drunk, your memory box at the end of the flight will be a blur of stupid fights, bad decisions and moments you wished you had back.
6. Don’t alter your life knowing that number 5 is your destiny. Your crash will probably involve Alzheimer’s anyway, and you won’t remember your name when it’s time to surrender your ticket or be locked in an infernal prison.
7/ Wise men jump; scared men calculate the distance of fall.
8. Trust the crazies; the sane have ridden the roller coaster too few times.
9. If the cart ends up before the horse, teach your horse how to push.
10. Life is mostly about timing; you may not control the chaos of events, but you can make sure that you’re at the right place at the right time to let serendipity balance the clock.
11. Little is experienced from staying inside. Unless a barstool is your friend, then you will experience more than a little bottom-side growth from your stay.
12. If love doesn’t work, like a lot. Something is better than nothing.
13. Stop reminding yourself that you’re alone. Most of the planet is in the same sad state you are, and would rather not be reminded of their misfortune.
14. We are alien to this place and always have been.
15. You are alien to this place, but so is everybody else.
16. Make love, not news.
17. Make waves, not dust.
18, Make truth, not lies.
19. If you’re just a “plus one” for anyone, you’re minus one within.
20. When all else fails, cut your own hair.
21. Don’t take things so personally.