Xoterica 40: The Secret

Artemis Sere's Xoterica: The Secret

“In every passionate pursuit, the pursuit counts more than the object pursued.” (Bruce Lee)

I am what most would call a "pothead". Not your typical one, as I like to call myself a "productive pothead".

But I am one. Have been for thirty years.

I maintain a 40-hour week, well-paying job. I own a house, cars, toys, taxes, and many other luxuries that equilibrium affords. I've published five books and have produced over 600 pieces of art.

I don't have DWIs, or whatever the new acronym is. I have no criminal history, have never been in jail, and manage my use in a way that meets within my definition of "responsibility".

But for thirty years, I have existed in the shadows as a second-class citizen.

Questioned by friends and family members for my choices, and forced to hide in plain sight.

Pushed to purchase pot from dangerous people in rough neighborhoods.

Forced to fake four different drug tests.

Overcharged for sometimes questionable quality based on the limited access of my contacts.

Tied to the tides of a dark market.

The Road

My first foray into marijuana happened with lifelong friends Jason and Melody. I don't remember the first experience vividly, but it was delicious enough to try again. And again. And again.

When I was in college, alcohol was always the junk that was readily and always available. Surprising these days, but during the 90s when D.A.R.E. was still a powerful force, alcohol became my party companion. It was bad for my body, my soul, and my relationships - many of which would've turned out much differently if high was the social lubricant instead of drunk. With issues with my liver and G.I. system, alcohol never should've been my weapon of choice.

But it was accessible, approved of, and even celebrated.

Blackout drunk shouldn't be something we celebrate.

Sugar overload shouldn't be something we celebrate.

And the addictive, dangerous properties of the toxic substance isn't something we should celebrate.

But we do as a culture. And we have since prohibition discriminated one vice over another. Political and moral hypocrites with righteous holds determined what we could and couldn't have, setting the country on the path of diabetes, liver destruction, obesity, and approved benders.

The Gobi

I read an article years ago that reported that a crypt was discovered in the Gobi desert that contained marijuana that was centuries old, preserved for 2700 years for a future graverobber looking for an ancient trip.

Throughout my time and my books, I've hidden my love of pot behind this story and the reference to this mystical bud. Friends of mine have had their own secret terms for it so we can talk about it without giving our relation to it away.

One good friend and former dealer called it "Chicken". I don't know why (can't remember), but that code stuck with me. My current dealer goes by the term "Zip". 

The point? Over the years, I survived through my connection to a hidden subculture that has existed in plain sight. Few of my smoker friends are dysfunctional. They're smart, creative, balanced, responsible people that make the delicate dance happen.

For years, I was worried that my landlord would figure out I smoked pot in the house he was renting to me. I would make cookies when he came over. I would spray air freshener until it fogged out the lingering smell, and burn SereFire candles to compensate. When I grew 7 8' tall kush plants in his backyard in 2017, I kept the whole grow a secret. I ended up with 13 jars of Gobi, enough green glory to last me a full year.

It wasn't until that stash was mostly gone that I discovered he was a pot head too. A professional one, hiding in plain sight, just like me.

The Guts

Pot has been demonized for many reasons, too many to list here. Many myths and lies rise from a certain affliction of refer madness from the prohibition-struck populous. Old programming dies hard. It has taken generations to get respect back to marijuana for the good it does.

My support of and commitment to marijuana as a curative saved my life.

Those who have followed my story know that I came down with severe Ulcerative Colitis in 2001. Severe enough to consider a colostomy. Severe enough to take cancer meds. Severe enough to have to void every two hours, sleep or awake, meeting or walking, driving or bussing. My first cathartic book "Obscurious" covers these sick details.

But in 2014 - weed combined with a juicing diet - pushed my once-chronic condition to remission.

Acknowledging that the system worked, I haven't changed much in my life or lifestyle since the condition went away. I'm almost afraid to change. I haven't had a serious symptom in almost a decade now. I smoke daily and am now a part-time pescetarian, mostly vegetarian.

I'm deathly afraid of returning to the wheel of anemia, overtiredness, pain, and constant uncomfortability.

You'd be right if you pointed out that weed alone didn't fix me. You'd also be right if you pointed out that pot smoke and vape aren't good for lungs. The way I take in the THC isn't perfect, and has caused other problems.

Ultimately, it was a combination of factors that quieted my bloody ulcers. I believe the commitment to intaking gut-friendly juices and foods that encouraged internal healing allowed my gastrointestinal system to make its necessary repairs , while not having to deal with challenging digestion caused by meat and toxic products like alcohol.

I believe the internal calm that pot brings brought me healing. While alcohol numbs the pain and exacerbates existing health problems, THC moderates and pushes meditation. While alcohol forces many questionable choices the drunker you get, THC slows you down and makes you compliant with chill.

The Goodness

Our nation would be a chiller place altogether if weed was broadly legal and accepted, allowed to exist as a viable party alternative to alcohol and appreciated for its healing properties.

Suspecting that marijuana would go legal in 2023, I started a crop in my backyard. I can't give you the specifics of how many plants I have, but they're doing amazing - with some plants as tall as 7 feet! See the picture below for a shot of the top of one. They went into the ground over Memorial Day weekend and will be harvested in late October.

Thank you, State of Minnesota, for making recreational marijuana legal on August 1, 2023.

Our nation needs a calming influence, now more than ever. I'd like to buy the world a toke...

Artemis Sere's Xoterica: The Secret

Artemis Sere's Twenty Best Music Albums of 2022

Artemis Sere's Best Albums of 2022 - Zeal & Ardor

This list is not genre or market specific. This list reflects the diversity of my interests. This list is not based on listening to any radio, podcasts, or influencer pundits. My appreciation for music is relatively broad, but you'll find a heavier edge to recent lists - reflective of the seasons of my life.

This list is my 12th attempt to catalog, track, and recommend the best music of the previous year.  If you're interested in what I've ranked in previous years, check out this page where all years are available.

This year was the most difficult year of compiling this list since I started. Not because I lacked entries to this list, but because 2022 featured more great music than I have space for. However, I did cut the list off at 20, and you can see my "Honorable Mentions" at the end of this blog.

Two themes dominated my 2022: my first year as a vinyl collector, and exploration into new artists. I have purchased vinyls for most of the albums on this list (for albums that have vinyls available) and am greatly impressed by the art and artistry that is put into the format. With respect to the newly discovered artists, I gave them priority in this list over many age-old, popular bands that put out albums this year (eg. Slipknot, Rammstein, Ghost). I find the new sounds exhilarating and fresh, and hope you do too.

Please spread the word and share this guidance with your network, and pay forward these suggestions of high quality, relatively underrated music and musicians. 

Check out my YouTube playlist featuring clips from every album, linked at the end of this list. 

And if you're feeling bold, drop a comment on this blog and let me know what you think. What's on your list of favorite albums for 2022?

I appreciate your interest in my Art and music opinion. Enjoy!

NOTE: I reserve the right to revise this list as necessary. I know I've probably missed some great albums in 2022, and will be sure to update this list to accommodate those next year - as I have done and will do with lists from previous years. Check back for updates!

#yearofSerein

20

BILLY HOWERDEL
What Normal Was

I was a big fan of Howerdel's Ashes Divide project, and you can hear the echoes of that great album in the lines and tones of "What Normal Was". 

19

AUTHOR & PUNISHER
Krüller

Author & Punisher is a one-man, industrial doom metal machine that cranks out atmospheric and apocalyptic jams. The album could work as an Industrial B-side for Tool, with its experimental sound, gritty mechanics and darkly dreamed soundscape. The album features Danny Carey, Justin Chancellor (both from Tool) and Perturbator. Musician Tristan Shone created his own "dub" and "drone" instruments, and the album reflects the best of Godflesh and Tool mixed with NIN.

18

TOXIK
Dis Morta

I've been listening to Toxik since I was in High School, and while I don't have as much appreciation for speed metal as I once did, this is a great album by the venerable metalheads. The title track reminds of "World Circus" while adding a mature vibe and doom power.  Josh Christian and band can still scream and slay.

17

WHITE WARD
False Light

White Ward is always a sonic adventure. Doom/black metal with saxophones and other compelling instruments, I've been a fan of this talented band out of Ukraine since discovering their "Futility Report" album. As I've grown older, I tend to gravitate toward vocals that are a bit more harmonic and less guttural, but White Ward represents the pain of their homeland perfectly with "False Light". Even though this album didn't rank high on my list, I deeply appreciate it in the context of the Russian invasion of Ukraine, and the amazing feat this band had to go through just to finish and release this album. In the end, I'm drawn to the balance of glorious guitars and saxophone, a sonic dance that creates a serious sense of gloom. The cover and vinyl insert contain shots from Ukraine, and it breaks my heart to consider what this strong people are enduring at the hands of Russia. #IStandWithUkraine

16

BLEED FROM WITHIN
Shrine

Hailing from Scotland, Bleed From Within is a metalcore band that sounds like a European companion to Parkway Drive with excellent vocals and melodies, superb riffs and endless power. "Shrine" is a great album and would rank higher on my list in a year that didn't feature so many great entries.

15

PARWAY DRIVE
Darker Still

Their last album, "Reverence", was my #2 album of 2018, beaten out by an overwhelmingly awesome Rabbit Junk album. In 2022, the situation is pretty much the same, only both bands failed to crack my Top 10. Every artist is judged on his/her last effort, and if "Darker Still" is compared to "Reverence", I see very little difference in sound, tempo and content from the last album. Consistency is certainly a good thing, but "Darker Still" doesn't sound fresh - but it does sound good enough to be in my Top 20, just not different enough to stand out.

14

HOLY WARS
EAT IT UP, SPIT IT OUT

This two-piece from Los Angeles almost stole the show from Night Club when I saw them at First Avenue's Entry earlier this year. I had no clue who they were at the time, but "EAT IT UP, SPIT IT OUT" became one of my most played albums of 2022, with "Little Godz" in my regular rotation. Fronted by the multi-talented Kat Leon, this band may not be on many radars right now, but is one you should watch out for. Ultimately, sounds and looks similar to K. Flay with a bit of a heavier edge and affinity for the camera.

13

LAMB OF GOD
Omens

Lamb of God channels angry like no other. Metalcore with solid vocals and guitars that slay, Lamb of God never ceases to impress. "Omens" is a great addition to the Lamb of God catalog, but like Parkway Drive, doesn't differentiate well. Across the album, I hear the echoes of "Sacrament" - and as I said with Parkway Drive, consistency isn't a bad thing. "Omens" grinds and slams well, and if you're looking for a soundtrack to your aggression, look no further.

12

CANNONS
Fever Dream

 And now for a change of pace. Sometimes I need those. We all do. My list this year is dotted with escapes from the loud cacophony of our brutal lives. Maybe it's me getting older. Maybe it's needing alternate influences to counter my high blood pressure. This band is a new-ish discovery and I expect that I will spend more time listening to them for chill and inspiration. Their dreamy approach is a welcome respite to the hustle and bang of our brutal world. They're considered indie "dream-pop" and their style and swing resonates well with the need for less speed.

11

RABBIT JUNK
Apocalypse for Beginners

I've been a fan of Rabbit Junk for fifteen years now. I've seen them evolve from a relatively-unkonwn rough-and-tumble hardclash band to a well-polished electronic outfit with a sizeable following. JP Anderson and Sum Grrrl continue to anchor their style and sound, with collaborators like Amelia Arsenic and Cyanotic. Their newest release has the grit and edge that I expect from Rabbit Junk, only it feels a bit too overproduced. I long for the rugged days of "Orange Laces" and "Iso Vs. Life", where their album covers were less perfect and their sound lacked the prettiness it exudes now. That may sound like a criticism, but it's not - Rabbit Junk is one of the best electronic acts on the market right now that more people need to know about. Compared to my opinion on their last album "Meditations on Mortality: Rabbit Junk Will Die", "Apocalypse" is a solid effort and worthy of much praise, but doesn't stack up against some of their best works.

10

CARPENTER BRUT
Leather Terror

A newcomer to my orbit, Carpenter Brut has been a breath of fresh air. One of a couple of bands on my list that built their records off of collaborations with other artists, Brut is a one-man band from France, considered darksynth or dark electronics, mixing horror themes and sounds to create a horror atmosphere. According to Wikipedia, "(Leather Terror) is a continuation of the Leather Teeth trilogy and involves a story of "a character who wants to take revenge on the cheerleader who’s been making fun of him 'serial killer style'." The album features collaborations with Greg from The Dillinger Escape Plan, Gunship, among others.

9

NOVA TWINS
Supernova

It's hard not to love these two lifelong friends from England that united to form a powerful urban punk duo. Gorgeously diverse and unapologetically sarcastic, angry and edgy. "Supernova" is an endless jam of  great vocals, superb content, and punky guitars. From "Cleopatra" to "Antagonist", their attitude, presence and power is undeniable. They truly are super in many ways and are one of my favorite finds of 2022.

8

HEALTH
Disco4: Part II

Another one of my favorite finds of 2022 was the band Health. For a band whose name was derived intentionally as an "everyday word", they are strikingly unique with a mesmerizing sound and brilliant balance of electronics and guitars. Listening to the amazingness of "Disco4: Part II" drove me to explore their catalog further, and appreciate the immense greatness that they've produced even before this album. Featuring collaborations with NIN, Poppy, Lamb of God, The Neighbourhood, and Perturbator, "Part II" is a melancholic and hypnotic ride, often brilliant and often exquisite.

7

I PREVAIL
True Power

This metalcore act from Michigan can crank out some serious power. Their concept isn't original - heavy tunes with two vocalists, one clean and one growly, much like Linkin Park once perfected. More electronic and diverse than Parkway Drive, and with a sound similar to Bad Omens, I Prevail is thunderous and huge, while slinging axes and blasting bad ass beats. "Body Bag" will tell you all you need to know about them, and I Prevail is able to continue that attitude for one truly powerful, boomtastic album. 

"All hail the king of nothing."

6

MOJAVE PHONE BOOTH
Hollow The Numbers + Kill the Messenger EP

Their self-titled album was one of my favorites of 2016, and this album was one of my favorite of 2022. The creative evolution of Tobey Torres Doran (Snake River Conspiracy) and Mitch Doran (Snake River Conspiracy, Queensryche  "Mindcrime 2") has been inspiring and amazing to watch, and this album is an adventurous soundscape of mystery and industrial, 80s gothy style. As a whole, the vocal interplay between Tobey and Mitch is fun, highlighting the high level of talent this band possesses across the board. Drums by Lynn Farmer from Meat Beat Manifesto round out their amazing sound. Both the new album and previous EP are layered with superb guitars and soulful vocals, mixed with vocal samples and great electronic atmosphere (and even features Flea from The Red Hot Chili Peppers). "Graveyard Tapes" is an exquisite and hypnotic exploration into the spooky minds of the band, while "Kill the Messenger" was one of my most listened to songs of 2022. Most of all, it is has been awesome to learn Tobey's story from the Snake River Conspiracy era and to witness her persistence, resilience and evolution with Mojave Phone Booth. From what I understand, the invigoration could even lead to new Snake River Conspiracy work. This is a band that deserves serious recognition for overcoming obstacles and producing some of the greatest work in their careers.

5

STABBING WESTWARD
Chasing Ghosts

Speaking of yesteryear bands returning to produce some of the best work, Stabbing Westward's "Chasing Ghosts" is a phenomenal and confident album that was one of my favorite vinyls of 2022. This album isn't the strongest in my top ten musically, but from cover to concept, it is macabre and amazing. The cover and other album art is genius and darkly wonderful. Musically, it is great to hear the sound of Stabbing Westward again. I was a fan of Hall's side project, The Dreaming, but this album is where he belongs. Stabbing Westward has been a fave since 1996's "Wither Blister Burn & Peel", so it's difficult to measure "Chasing Ghosts" across their great releases, but it certainly stood out as one of my favorites of 2022.

4

MACHINE HEAD
Of Kingdom and Crown

I didn't intentionally group "Kingdom"-related concept albums next to each other. However, two of my favorite albums of have strong themes around Kings and kingdoms (incidentally, even I Prevail has a great song called "Long Live the King"), with "Of Kingdom and Crown" revolving around two characters named Ares and Eros that go through troubles. "No Gods, No Masters" will forever be one of my favorite Machine Head songs, while the rest of the album is filled with power and dark glory. Extra props for superbly macabre album art and an exquisite vinyl package and presentation. Rob Flynn's voice shows no signs of fading, and Machine Head continues to be one of the most relentless and inventive bands in metal today. 

3

ALTER BRIDGE
Pawns & Kings

Alter Bridge has been a favorite since the dissolution of Creed. Over the years, they've had albums that have dotted these lists, but "Pawns & Kings" has ranked the highest of them all so far. The songwriting on "Pawns & Kings" is amazingly tight and the storytelling on the album is spectacular. Myles Kennedy and Mark Tremonti are an amazing duo, complementing each other's talent. It helps that they - combined with Phillips and Marshall, also from Creed - are four of the best musicians in rock right now. Songs like "This Is War", "Holiday", "Sliver Tongue", "Fable of the Silent Son",  "Season of Promise", and "Pawns & Kings" hint of a larger story of class warfare,  almost medieval in tone. Many props to Mark's brother Dan for exceptional album art. Look forward to seeing this band in February with Red.

2

BAD OMENS
The Death of Peace of Mind

"The Death of Peace of Mind" was my most listened to album of 2022, and their live show was one of my favorite this year (despite serious issues with the venue). They are an amazingly eclectic and polished electro-rock band that features the perfect mix of vocals and creative vision.  Each of the videos that they've released are atmospheric and amazing, showcasing endless range of this talented band.

Favorites "The Grey", "The Death of Peace of Mind", "Like a Villain", and "Artificial Suicide" were on constant rotation on my record player, and the electronics pop with life and energy.

The album doesn't have a weak spot, doesn't have a song that I would point to as a flaw or fail. It is an soulful, raw, edgy and beautiful ride from start to finish, punctuated by what is probably my favorite song of 2022, "The Death of Peace of Mind", an epic of romantic and gloomy proportions with a corresponding video that is wonderfully haunting and gorgeous cinema.

1

ZEAL & ARDOR
(self-titled)

To be honest, it was difficult for me to choose between Bad Omen's wonderful new album and this one. I listened to the Bad Omens album more. I saw both bands live. I loved the live sound of both shows. Ultimately, it comes down to this: the influence of the past on their present. Bad Omens show was tightly performed and very entertaining, but too many songs were too Biblically preachy, a reflection on popular work from previous albums. 

Zeal & Ardor's set of tunes that supported the great songs like "Run", "Golden Liar", and "Gotterdammerung", were black metal influenced slave tunes, like "Don't You Dare", "Row Row", and "Gravedigger's Chant". I've read that Bad Omens wishes that their recent release is what the public knows them best by, as if the success of this album reflects who they are, not who they were.

I've never heard Manuel Gagneux Iament about his content and the amazing voice he has channeled out of black history and reality. There's a hardcore honesty with every Zeal & Ardor song, and as an atheist and humanist, I probably appreciate that more highly than most.

I stand by Zeal & Ardor's self-titled as my favorite for 2022, and am excited to have been introduced to them. From "Stranger Fruit" to "Wake of the Nation" to their self-title, Zeal & Ardor have an awesome trajectory and creative fire.  

2022 Honorable Mentions

I had a long list of albums to choose from for my 2022 list. Here are ones that were considered, but not chosen for the top 20. They may make it there someday. 

Conjure One - Innovation Zero
Sabaton – The War To End All Wars
Ghost – Impera
Rammstein – Zeit
Amorphis – Halo
Meshuggah – Immutable
Anthrax - XL
Megadeth - The Sick, The Dying ....and the Dead!
Disturbed - Divisive

Artemis Sere's Twenty Best Albums of 2022
YouTube Playlist

Other Annual Best Album Blogs

2010 | 2011 | 2012 | 2013 
2014 | 2015 | 2016 | 2017 
2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021

Xoterica 39: The Splinter (Part 2)

Artemis Sere The Unstoppable Staph SS-SG-00600

“Know the difference between a catastrophe and an inconvenience — To realize that it’s just an inconvenience, that it is not a catastrophe, but just an unpleasantness, is part of coming into your own, part of waking up.” (Bruce Lee)


I was really looking forward to the 4th of July extended holiday as a time of recharge, chillaxation in the sun and reflection on the events of 2022 so far - my 2nd converter-jacking, my covid, my dental surgery.

I really needed a reset away from the madness of my own life.

Instead of celebrating independence, I was reminded how truly dependent I am - on friends, family, loved ones, the medical system, and courage. Instead of recharging, regrouping and reassessing, I celebrated dependence with my foot up and regrets about my carelessness.

I spent many hours angry at myself for causing all of the hours lost to the accident. Hours paraded around naked in a poorly-tied gown with an IV cart. Hours strapped to an uncomfortable bed bound with tubes and tickers.

Hours imagining how my Dad felt when he was in this same position fighting for his life. I always imagined that I would create a metal sculpture to capture my last moments with him... the groaning face of agony, the myriad of tubes treating him like a drug puppet, the barely working catheters both giving and taking life. It was a goal of my #metalmorphosis that I never achieved.

In my head, a constant mental rotation of

"How did a splinter get me here?"

"What could I have done differently?"

"What should I learn from this?"

In reality, the answers are far more complicated than stitches and two-weeks off of my foot. Some wounds caused by time and society never fully close.

And some wounds don't show up until you least expect them to.

Closures and Openings (July 18, 2022)

I slept for at least 13 hours following discharge. In the days that followed, my theme was rest, elevation of my foot, and adaptation to life changes that followed my stay at Regions Hospital. I slept a lot and downed meds as if they were my new candy.

When closure day came on Monday, the stress wasn't about the procedure, but getting to the facility. The Specialty Care center wouldn't let me rideshare to the appointment, even if I had pickup covered. They also couldn't provide alternate transport for those without a wealth of options. With one handful of family members in the area and numbered accessible friends, my options on Monday noon were shockingly limited.

Thankfully, my girlfriend worked her butt off to get off early so she could take me herself, but it made me realize how isolated I've become. Wrapped up in my own little art world. Consumed by the drama and stress of these odd days.

The world is burning and I have been mostly silent. Too silent, I suppose. In posting these blogs, I realized that it's been almost nine months since my last one.

That will change. I have written much and shared little lately, been a passive spectator in these troubled times.

The closure procedure was fast and painless, especially with the anesthetics. I was given crutches, a post-op boot and more painkillers and wheeled back to my regularly-scheduled life, a very different person than the one who simply got a splinter in his foot.

As with anything, the answers drove more questions.

An Imperfect Science

In reality, shit went from urgent to emergent fast - within days.

I did what I thought what right with heading to the Urgent Care first instead of a Hospital, and it turned out to be a bad decision.

The first Urgent Care doc ordered x-rays on my foot, but didn't see a foreign object because wood doesn't show up on x-rays (only MRIs), so he didn't see a poisonous foreign body lodged beneath my skin. He prescribed useless antibiotics and sent me home, telling me to come back if it got worse.

The second Urgent Care doc looked at the state of my foot, painted lines to track infection growth, and gave me new, more aggressive antibiotics to fight the infection, telling me to come back if it got worse.

Less than a week after the first Urgent Care visit, I was in the Hospital getting an MRI and foot surgery scheduled. It went from uncomfortable to "worse" faster than any Urgent Care doc expected - but they were relying on an imperfect picture of my foot that didn't show what was really going on beneath the skin.

When I ask myself the question of "what could I have done differently", I don't have a good answer (besides 'wearing shoes'). I think the greatest fault lies on Urgent Care docs not insisting I get an MRI sooner, even if it required a Hospital visit. A week less of the infection timeline could've got me into surgery quicker and without such painful complications.

But I acknowledge that medicine is an imperfect science run by imperfect people involving imperfect patients.

Speaking of imperfect patient, the visit turned out to be about more than just an infected splinter in my foot.

Like Father

Over the course of the first couple days in the Hospital, checks were run regularly on my vitals. Blood sugar and pressure were both running high. After tests were performed, I was diagnosed as a Type 1 Diabetic with high blood pressure.

Strapped to tubes and focused an injured foot, I had little idea what that meant - for me. I'd seen it in my Dad, watched my Grandfather wither away from it, and encountered friends with it, but was shocked that I was now part of that dubious club.

I don't know when it started, don't know how long I've had it. Blood sugar problems could've been behind the scenes for years as I consumed carelessly. But I've honestly never known the blood sugar highs and lows that most insulin-necessary diabetes suffer. My pescatarian life has been mostly comfortable. One too many sodas, for sure, but I don't have a sweet tooth anymore and am not a foodie thanks to my history with UC.

A little bit of me suspects this covid angle suggested by CIDRAP, as the timeline jives, but don't have true proof of when blood sugar started running high.

Again, I have to be angry with myself for not getting levels checked after my Dad died from diabetes. I understood his pain and struggle, but not in the context of living it.

A splinter from my past infecting the present.

Living it has given me a whole new appreciation of the disease. How my diet has completely changed to align to keeping blood sugar down. Multiple blood draws daily to monitor glucose levels. Taking things slower and more deliberately to lessen blood pressure. Managing stress and hunger pangs.

While healing from a wound, sore toe joints and infection-bruised swelling, I'm also having to undertake new dietary habits, check vitals multiple times per day, and take more pills regularly than I have in my life.

All of this from an inch-sized splinter.

Infection

I think we each hold splinters that are infecting our ability to live long, strong and healthy. The splinters are kept sanitized by positive reinforcements from culture and advertising, but the infection of greed can be seen in our ads alone.

The cost of being a care-free consumer in modern society is our lives - from the unhealthy foods and lifestyles pushed our way from birth, to the constant rotation of promotions that are sure to secure your death.

Strapped to a hospital bed, I watched daytime TV for the first time in decades. I was dismayed by the ad content directed at viewers during that window.

Ads promoting food terrible for humans, featuring people who most likely are diabetic and/or have an array of health issues that would keep them from eating what they're promoting.

Misleading, manipulative ads targeting seniors.

Ambulance-chaser and class action ads.

And countless advertisements for new drugs to fight Ulcerative Colitis, a condition I beat the last time I took my health into my own hands. It seems as though medicine is no closer to finding an answer for this debilitating condition. I made it out if its grasp; this time, though, I fear the meds have me.

As three different antibiotics worked to beat bugs back in my system, I found that propaganda is still a powerful form of infection that probably contributed to who I am now.

Wake-up Puncture

There is a hard road ahead for me. The visions of my Dad and Grandfather dying as a result of diabetes haunts me. Their gruesome ends are the stuff of my nightmares.

At a year-and-a-half away from 50, I have a greater sense of my fragility.

I never imagined that I would end up like my Dad, but I should've seen it coming. More proof that I'm not a seer, just a normal creative human with a keen aptitude for words, and good artistic vision and intuition, who is sometimes too smart for his own good, sometimes prone to stupid mistakes that result in suffering and surgery.

Pain is part of the plotline.

So is making better choices.

This splinter was not a catastrophe, not the end of my world. But it was a wake-up call to be more cautious and less careless, be more deliberate and less chaotic, be more here and less there.

There is wisdom in this splinter, and I will embody it.

Artemis Sere The Unstoppable Staph SS-SG-00600
Artemis Sere The Unstoppable Staph SS-SG-00600 (Full)